Your First Week as an Au Pair: A Survival Guide

The first seven days with your host family will quietly shape the entire year. Get them right and you set up a relationship that runs smoothly until the day you fly home. Get them wrong and you spend months trying to renegotiate the basics. Here's a day-by-day playbook from au pairs who've been through it.

Day 1: Arrive, Rest, Observe

Your first day is not a working day — even if your host family forgets to mention it. You're jet-lagged, overwhelmed, and probably emotional. Take a shower, unpack a little, eat dinner with the family, and go to bed early. Don't try to play with the kids for hours. Don't try to memorize routines. Just exist in the house and let yourself be tired. Most successful au pairs say their first day was uneventful on purpose.

Day 2: The Tour and the Routine Talk

Today, ask your host family for two things: a tour of the house (where the laundry is, where the medicine is, what's off-limits) and a walk-through of a typical weekday. Wake-up time, breakfast, school drop-off, after-school activities, dinner, bedtime. Take notes — literally. Use your phone. You'll forget half of it within 48 hours and asking again later feels worse than asking now.

Day 3: Shadow, Don't Lead

If it's a school day, follow your host parent through the morning routine without taking over. Watch how they do breakfast, what the kids eat, how the school run works, who waves goodbye to whom. Every family has invisible rules — the way the toast is buttered, which cup is "the blue cup," whether shoes come off at the door. Day 3 is for noticing them, not changing them.

Day 4: Get Out of the House Alone

Spend at least an hour by yourself in the neighborhood today. Walk to the supermarket. Find a coffee shop. Locate the nearest pharmacy and the nearest train station. This sounds trivial but it's the moment most au pairs say their new life "started feeling real." It also gives the family a few hours of normal time without a guest in the house, which they need too.

Day 5: First Solo Task

By day 5 you should be doing something on your own — school pickup, an afternoon park visit, dinner prep for the kids. Pick something small, agree on it the night before, and do it. The first solo task is where confidence kicks in. It's also when you realize the kids are starting to trust you, which is the best feeling of the first week.

Day 6: The Schedule Conversation

Sit down with your host parents and walk through the weekly schedule together. Working days, free days, language course time, when you eat together, when you eat alone, what to do on weekends. Do this in writing if possible — even just a shared note on your phone. Most au pair conflicts come from unspoken assumptions, and day 6 is the perfect time to make everything explicit while everyone is still in honeymoon mode.

Day 7: Call Home and Reflect

By the end of week one you'll feel a bit of everything — excitement, exhaustion, homesickness, and a strange new pride. Call your family or your closest friend back home and actually talk about it. Then write yourself a one-paragraph note: what's working, what's confusing, what you want to ask about next week. You'll thank yourself for it in month 4 when things get harder.

Things To Pack You'll Be Glad You Brought

• A small gift for the host family. Something from your country — not expensive, just thoughtful. Sets the tone immediately.
• Photos of your own family. Children love seeing where you come from, and it's a great way to break the ice.
• A power adapter for your country's plugs. Don't rely on borrowing one.
• Painkillers, basic medicine, and a few snacks from home. Especially the snacks — the first week of unfamiliar food is harder than you think.
• A notebook. Writing things down beats trying to remember them.

Mistakes to Avoid in Week One

• Trying to be perfect. You're a guest, not a robot. The family expects you to be human.
• Comparing the family to your own. Out loud, in your head, on social media. Just don't.
• Saying yes to extra hours. The first week sets the precedent. If you cover "just one" extra evening on day 3, you've signaled that the contracted hours are flexible. Keep them firm until you've found your rhythm.
• Hiding when you're upset. Homesickness is normal. Tell your host parent. Most of them have hosted before and know exactly what to say.
• Not asking questions. Whatever you're wondering about, ask. Day 1–7 is your free pass for "stupid" questions.

Before you even get to your first week, make sure you've checked for these 8 red flags before saying yes to a host family. Catching problems early is always easier than fixing them once you've already moved in.

If You're Still Choosing a Country

The first week is easier in some countries than others. Germany and the Netherlands tend to have very structured arrival routines. France and Italy are warmer and slower-paced. The USA hits the ground running — you usually start work within 2–3 days. Pick the rhythm that matches your personality.

You're Not Alone

Every au pair you've ever read about felt the same way you will in your first week. The trick is treating it like an experiment, not a performance. Take notes, ask questions, eat the strange breakfasts, laugh at the things you can't pronounce, and trust that it gets easier. By week 4 the routine will feel like yours.

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