How to Au Pair in Europe Without an Agency: A Step-by-Step Guide for EU Citizens

Au pair agencies operating inside Europe routinely charge between €600 and €1,500 to "match" you with a host family — and the family pays them another €1,000 to €3,000 on top. For an EU citizen going to another EU country, this is money set on fire. Here's the exact playbook to do it yourself in an afternoon.

Step 1: Decide what you want from the year

Before you go anywhere near a profile, write down three things:

• What language do I want to learn? French, German, Italian, Dutch, Spanish, Portuguese? This decides your destination shortlist faster than anything else.
• What kind of family suits me? A high-energy household with three young kids is a different year than a calm family with one ten-year-old.
• How much money do I want to save? Pocket money varies significantly — Switzerland pays nearly triple what Portugal does. Both are great experiences, but they answer different questions.

Spend twenty minutes on this. It will save you weeks of confused browsing.

Step 2: Pick three countries, not one

Don't fixate on a single destination. The matching process works in your favour when you cast a slightly wider net. Pick three countries you'd genuinely be happy in. Most EU au pairs end up in their second or third choice — not because the first was unavailable, but because the right family was somewhere unexpected. Read country guides for Germany, France, the Netherlands, Belgium, and Ireland.

Step 3: Build a profile that gets messages

This is the part most au pairs underestimate. Families look at hundreds of profiles. Yours has to stand out in three seconds:

• Photo: Smile, daylight, ideally outdoors. Not a holiday selfie. Bonus points if a child you know is in one of your secondary photos.
• Bio: Lead with what you can do for the family, not what you want from them. "I'd love to help your kids with English homework after school" beats "I want to learn German and explore Munich".
• Languages: List every language you speak honestly. The family is filtering for this.
• Video intro: 30 seconds. This single thing increases your reply rate by something like 5x. Just film it on your phone and upload it.

Step 4: Message families directly

Don't wait for families to find you. Send the first message. Personalise each one — mention something specific from their profile (the kids' names, where they live, something about their home) so they know you read it. A good first message is 4 to 6 sentences. Include a sentence about why you'd be a good fit, not just why you want to come.

Send 10 messages your first day. Expect 3 to 5 replies. That's normal.

Step 5: Video call with at least 3 families

Never accept a placement without a video call. You need to see the parents' faces, hear their voices, see a glimpse of the home, and ideally meet the kids on screen. Have a list of questions ready:

• How many hours per week, and what's a typical day?
• What's my private bedroom like?
• Do you contribute to a language course?
• What are your house rules around guests, smoking, and curfews?
• Have you hosted an au pair before? Can I speak with one of them?

Talk to at least 3 families before deciding. The compare-and-contrast is essential.

Step 6: Sign a contract

A contract is non-negotiable. It should specify your hours, days off, pocket money, vacation days, language course contribution, end date, and notice period. DearAuPair has built-in contract templates that work in most EU countries. If you're using a different platform, write one yourself — even a simple one-pager is far better than a handshake. Both sides sign and keep a copy.

Step 7: Book your travel

As an EU citizen, you don't need anything but a passport or national ID. Book your flight, train, or bus, send the family your arrival details, and pack:

• Your ID and a photocopy of it (kept separately)
• Your European Health Insurance Card (EHIC)
• A printed copy of your contract
• The host family's address and emergency contacts on paper
• Enough cash for the first 48 hours

Step 8: Register on arrival

Within the first 14 to 90 days (depending on country), go to the local town hall and register your address. Your host family will know the correct office and can come with you the first time. This is the only piece of legal paperwork you'll have to do for the whole year. It costs nothing or almost nothing.

Total cost

€0 in agency fees. €0 in platform fees (if you use DearAuPair). €40–€200 for the flight or train. Compare that to the €600–€1,500 an agency would have charged you, plus another €1,000–€3,000 the family would have paid them.

That's the entire EU au pair advantage in one number. Ready to start? Create your free profile here.